When I was 14 I bought a classic smiley Nirvana shirt and thought how cool I was. And then my dad asked me if I actually ever listened to Nirvana and I embarrassedly said that I did not. So decided to listen to just a few songs. The first Nirvana song I ever heard was, of course, Smells like teen spirit and I remember how bad I felt after that cause I didn’t like the song and I spent all of my money on the shirt. After months I thought a totally different thing about Nirvana, I loved the band and of course, I was the biggest local grunge pal. Then, in December 2014 I discovered Hole, the band of Kurt Cobain’s wife. I fell in love and of course, after that, I found a bunch of 90s bands. But the worst part of discovering these bands was that the most members from these bands were dead. I felt really weird then. I remember celebrating April the 5th, the day when Kurt Cobain died. I always listen to Nirvana all day and I felt like a part me died that day even if it happened when I was not even alive. Imagine it. It was a really weird when you feel like this, aged only 15. 90s grunge music has influenced me the way no other music genre ever did.
After that. bad things are still happening. David Bowie died. Scot Weiland died. Prince died. Leonard Cohen died. Chris Cornell died a week ago. They say that legends never die, but what really happens to us when our idols are gone?
It was a Thursday, sometime about lunch time and I was scrolling Twitter on my phone and suddenly I found something about Chris Cornell´s death. I thought it was a hoax cause no one was actually tweeting about it so why to panic, right? After a few hours, my mom took me home from the train station and while driving in the car they were talking about Chris on the radio. I felt (and I still do) so devasted and I refused to believe this is happened for real. My mom did not understand. She never knew who Chris Cornell was. And so did my friends, well some of them did but most of them just kept asking me what the hell is happening with me. And what is my explanation for this kind of sadness?
Well, imagine the situation. You are a teenager with problems, it seems to you like no one understands you but the music does. It actually makes you wanna do something with your life. It motivates you to do things. To be a better person or whatever. It happened a part of your life. And imagine that this person you admired, this person who helped you thru a lot, this person who became a part of your life is suddenly gone. What a shock for a person it is. It doesn’t even matter that you never met that person. Specific things in your life are connected with a specific part of the music and it suddenly seems like a part of your life is gone. That is why most of the people don’t understand why the people are devasted by the death of their idols. They were not influenced by the music, so they don’t have to know what it feels like.
They say that legends never die and actually, they just stop making live shows but actually, what dies when someone of our idols dies is a part of us.