Not a long time ago I felt depressed so badly and I was questioning myself why do I like things I like,why I do them and stuff like this. One of the questions was Why do I like Courtney Love? Why do I see her as one my idols? I was just so tired and confused because of everything,so I just went and listened the album called Nobody’s Daughter. I felt like somebody understands what was going on in my head and even life.
And that was it. Later,I realized Courtney’s music was always here with me in my (let’s call it) darkest situations. I mean, Courtney and her band, Hole have changed so many things in my life and I want to talk about it. I don’t feel like I have to feel ashamed for liking her. She changed so many things for better and I guess I couldn’t choose a better day for making this post such as Courtney’s birthday.
I found Hole because of her husband Kurt, in December 2014. I was a huge Nirvana fan and I was really obsessed over Cobain and later, I found out he had a wife and she had a band. So I went and searched for Hole on youtube. The first song by Hole I ever heard was Violet and I loved how empowering it was. Later that month I was constantly listening all the songs by Hole, I liked the album Celebrity Skin the most. And somehow, I got into the “Courtney killed Kurt” affair, I knew it was suicide we are not going to talk about that here but I realized album Live Through This was released after Kurt´s death. And just a fact that somebody’s husband has died and even her friend has died she was strong enough to continue recording Live Through This. That taught me to live through things and since that,every time when I felt like I can’t go over something I was repeating in my head – If Courtney has survived 1994, I can survive today.
From her famous 1994 album, Live Through This, Courtney has taught me to survive unapologetically.
So many things about Courtney has changed my whole life and I know we don’t have a time for that. So many things she said has affected me. She taught me, not only me, but so many people that the way you at yourself is only about your attitude and also you don’t even have to be pretty for no one else, but for yourself. So wear, create, be whatever you want f*cking to wear, create or be. She taught me I can be powerful or anything I want to be and it doesn’t matter I am a woman.
She got me into the feminism and riot grrrl which changed the way I look at myself today as well.
This is not just about me. I know someone will read this and agree with me and the stuff I wrote. She has saved and changed so many lives. I am proud to call myself a Hole or Courtney fan and I feel zero shame for that. I am so thankful.
Happy Birthday, Courtney and thank you for everything. I love you!